Burning the candle at both ends? Mine has melted completely.

Most of us are happy trundling along in life at a steady pace, doing the things that need to get done.
But when you realise you’ve taken too much on in your life and need a breather, that’s when the difficulties start to become apparent.
Recently, I have started a placement at a mental healthcare facility, which hopefully will boost my postgrad applications immensely. I also have a part-time job that’s paying my way through university. 20hours a week might not sound an awfully big chunk of time, but it is alongside fulltime lectures and seminars. As it’s my 3rd year, my undergraduate dissertation is well underway, a massive 10,000 word document that gets bound and is prestigous. Needless to say, that part of my degree would be going alot smoother if I had a dissertation supervisor that could manage his emails and respond to mine… alas.. “busy busy!” is all the reply i get.
[Gee thanks…just state the obvious!]
I’ve also decided it would be a genius idea to get a head start on postgrad applications — (no aimee..it’s not) and to be brutally honest with you guys..i’m scared shitless about it! It’s not the concept of doing the masters..it’s the fact that i’ll no longer be in academia properly and I will then be viewed as a grown-up.

SO you have found me sat in front of my laptop, staring blankly at the screen deliberating over my future. All I can think of is ringing him. To hear his voice and feel it calm my outraged nerves and tell me everything is going to be alright.
If you are going through a similar stage in your life, where it feels like you’re constantly fighting for a break and you seem to be drowning in all the jobs left on your to-do list. Where you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare where you’ve turned up late and sat the wrong exam or you forgot to get dressed because you were so worried about your interview. And you’re so stressed that you’ve bitten your nails right down, don’t panic..we’ve all had moments like that.
But if it happens that you have someone who offers that calm that you seem to crying out for….you’re lucky. Never let go of that.
If I miss my deadlines and my alarm doesnt go off and I fail all my exams.. if I have nothing else…I have him and I am grateful for that.

A xo

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Author: ChronicWriter

a writer, living with Endometriosis

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