Reaching the limit

I can do this?

Over the past few months a lot has happened that has impacted my life in a huge way. I am learning to live with the restrictions my body puts on me, learning what my limits are all over again. Training myself to work through pains and emotions that would have broken me 8 months ago. Slowly, I am realising that my mind must acclimate to these changes as well and acknowledge them if I want to be sane.

You see, my mind is all for hitting the gym for an hour, more than willing to stuff myself at meal times, happy to stay up all night watching Netflix. But the fact is, my body is no longer capable of doing any of those things. (have you read the Spoon Theory? This might help you understand my predicament)

8 months ago I was able to do 13 hour shifts and overtime in a high-stress role. Sadly, I just can’t do that anymore. I’ve missed it and been sad, resenting my body for fighting itself every month, tearing itself to bits, hating it. But my husband just said; “you can’t and it’s that way it is, being sad about it isn’t going to change it and you just have to adapt” – to be the best I can be.. now.

Getting back up..

When your body and/or emotions take a hammering, you’ll find ways of coping. Little tricks that help me to deal with the shitty situation I sometimes find myself in. This past week, I spent another few days in hospital, my little home away from home, with divine cuisine and luxury facilities. Between waking from my pain-killer induced dozes and trying to manage a pain storm, I read. If I ever find a few moments when I can concentrate enough to see the words, I can disappear, be absorbed into the pages and live through the characters in the story – just for a while. It’s my great escape. I have read a lot in since we said goodbye to 2014. Life can be difficult, but it’s the little things that can make it a little easier; a good book, a long bath, pudding… everybody loves pudding.

A xo

Books I have read recently & can recommend:

Please see my book reviews as some are included!


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