When you’re 24 and shopping for new underwear, ideally you should be looking in the ‘lingerie’ section in shops like Boux Avenue or Victoria Secret or even Ann Summers if you’re feeling abit frisky. You never think “I need some hot new underwear, I’ll hit up M&S” – not to be confused with S&M, it’s a completely different crowd in there!
I’ll admit- I used to frown on Marks & Spencers. I used to think I was too cool for M&S. On the few occasions I ventured in, usually on shopping trips with my nan, I was immediately surrounded by older (old) women. I used to think it had nothing to offer a hip, young woman such as myself.
Well, I soon found out I was wrong. I was spending some time at my nans recuperating after one of many Endo flares & hospital visit, when she bought me some pants. 100% cotton. White. Apple catchers. The kind that come in packs of 4 or 5. They were huge (still are- I still have them and “they wash like a dream!”). As I was just mooching around the house and there was no way my boyfriend (now-husband) was ever gonna catch an eyeful of these babies- I slipped em on.
My eyes were instantly opened and it was like someone slapped me in the face for ever thinking I was too cool for massive bloomers! They were the comfiest, like a cloud hugging my bot! They fit perfectly and didn’t pinch in all the wrong places. I didn’t get a wedgie all weekend and my tum was lovely and warm as they reached just below my belly button. I could even tuck my hot water bottle in!
What was I thinking?Too cool for M&S?! These pants are amazing- I don’t have 2 bums as the pants have great coverage. My bum has never been more cosy!
You may think it can get a little monotonous wearing white cotton pants everyday- but being the genius that I am I soon came up with a plan to stir things up! Operation: Tie-dye was a go. I now have some one-of-a-kind pink ones! Now who’s too cool?
Why didn’t someone tell me about this sooner? Why have I been buying overpriced shreds of fabric which don’t cover anything? The world needs bigger pants. Women need big pants for all their adventures. When I bend down to pick my shopping up, I don’t wanna be showing my ass off! When I rush to save a man choking on his false teeth, I don’t wanna be sat hoping my thong doesn’t ride up! When I lead an important business meeting I don’t wanna be fidgeting in my seat cos my lace frenchies are chafing!
I did get a little worried about what my husband might think and if this would affect our libido. So I asked him. And he responded in the most beautiful way that only a doting husband can. He said:
“I’m more interested in what’s in your big pants & they’re gonna end up on the floor anyway…”
Love (or lust) lives on!