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Posts by ChronicWriter

a writer, living with Endometriosis
by ChronicWriter

My first time- Acupuncture

When I was told that I’d have this illness for the rest of my life, I had the naive ideation that I would just take some pills, some Feminax and everything would go on as normal. Oh, how wrong I was. Chronic pain has seeped into all the cracks of my life, bringing with it- its entourage; fatigue, depression and an unhealthy reliance on pain killers. I am not addicted to pain killers, not yet, but I do rely on them most days. I have had to search all over the web, looking for natural methods to ease the pain, alternative medicines that don’t make me look like a zombie, so I don’t lose days at a time during my ‘pain storms’. For this I have put together a survival kit: heat pads, hot water bottle, Tens Machine and a long soak in a hot bath.

Within a month of my diagnosis, I had visited my GP several times and was given different prescriptions over and over. I changed my diet, reduced my caffeine, dairy intake and cut out red meat entirely, hoping that all the online forums were right. In April, I decided enough was enough and it was probably time to think outside of the box. Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is:

  • “a system of complementary medicine in which fine needles are inserted in the skin at specific points along what are considered to be lines of energy (meridians), used in the treatment of various physical and mental conditions.”

I had my doubts. But, in desperation, I picked up the phone and stated my interest in having a session ASAP- to help with the pain. Within a few hours, I was contacted by the acupuncturist. A lovely man that seemed to understand my illness and empathise completely- which helped in itself as I was used to receiving a lot of blank faces when I disclosed my endometriosis. He seemed eager to help and sounded so sure that he could help; brimming with complete confidence in his craft. I was given an appointment the very next day.

I travelled the few miles to the therapy centre, my anxieties growing, starting to feel uneasy. The idea of having needles all over my body was not comforting. My worries grew and soon I had the image of Pinhead from Clive Barker’s ‘Hellraiser’ answering the door, beckoning me into the treatment room, to my torture. I have included a picture, just to show you how quickly my imagination escalated! Oh dear.

Pinhead

Pinhead

The therapy centre is off the beaten track in a village just outside of my town, I had never really seen the area very well or visited it much. It was a lovely, uncharacteristic spring day as we drove down a lane adjacent to fields with spring lambs bouncing through the grass. My spirits lifted even more when I saw the building. New and shiny, it stands in what appears to be the grounds of an old school. With the sun bouncing from the round window and a light breeze through the trees, I walked the paved path and spied an overgrown tennis court with weeds covering the court lines and growing through the net. It truly is a lovely place and if you have the chance to look around, please do. You can find the website here.

Anyway, enough of the location and my wild imagination. Next- bring on the actual experience! A short young man welcomed me into building. It is light and airy, full of windows and has a minimalist style. I started to feel better already. I turned to my husband to seek reassurance; we had suggested him waiting around or accompanying me but decided against it in the end what with the session possibly taking over an hour. I was a big girl and didn’t need him to hold my hand- much.

Once in the session, I told my story of confusion, worry and pain. I told the acupuncturist of all my hospital visits, my surgery, my medications. He asked about my diet and lifestyle. I explained that since all of this started I’d not really had much of a lifestyle. When he urged me to discuss my diet, I faltered. I was embarrassed. At that point, I pretty much survived on a diet of what I ‘fancied’. My appetite was poor, but I had to eat as I was taking medication so it was mainly things that I liked; junk food. As I reeled off my list of food stuffs, I became increasingly aware of how it sounded like a child’s menu without adult supervision; chicken nuggets, noodles, chips, chicken/tuna pasta, pie, smiley faces and broccoli. I’m pretty sure if Turkey Twizzlers were still in production, they’d have been on the list as well! He laughed and wasn’t too hard on me about it.

It came time for pins. Pinhead’s ugly, cruel features flashed in my mind instantly and then was forgotten as my acupuncturist talked me through the procedure. He is extremely well trained and qualified. He had learned in China, had a university degree, but most of all, it was his absolute assurance that it would be beneficial to me. And after months of medical professionals “trying this” and “giving this a go” – it was about time! He told me that he could feel how different parts of my body were poorly based on the different areas he could take my pulse. For example, on that day, through close monitoring of my pulse, he could tell that my lower abdomen and intestine were extremely enflamed. Woah. Even CT and Ultrasounds scans, X-rays and blood tests couldn’t tell that in my 5 hospital admissions.

Bring on the pins. The first few were a little cause for concern; going in my feet and toes! Ugh. This was hell for me, the idea of having a needle in my bony feet, is harrowing. I felt them go in, but as I wasn’t looking, it didn’t hurt, and they were quickly forgotten. I had a total of 7-9 needles in my legs, feet and wrists. He continued to check my pulse through the procedure and after the pins were in for 20 minutes confirmed that my pulse showed that the aggravated body parts and eased and settled down a little. He stated that I may need ‘top-up’ sessions (it looked like I would be seeing more of Pinhead) and that he would contact me to see how I was feeling.

On leaving the session and building, the sun was shining. I don’t know whether it was a psychological thing as I expected to feel better, whether the pins had actually eased my raw organs or whether my painkillers had kicked in, but I felt like running. I felt more upbeat, laughing as I retold my experience to my husband, including all the Pinhead bits! My body felt alive, tingly almost, I felt ready to run a marathon; that sensation when all your muscles tighten in expectation of adrenaline. Everything felt slower, I felt ready, better able to cope with the day. It was £40 well spent.

I was under the impression this would last a week. It didn’t. Within a few hours I started to feel very tired, my muscles ached and it was hard to keep my eyes open. I collapsed into bed for an early night. The next few days I had pain but it was more manageable. I was able live close to normal, doing things I would normally do; work, eat, walk. And just for that, I would recommend, wholeheartedly, the Acupuncture experience.

A xo

by ChronicWriter

Dear Mr Prime Minister,

Firstly I’d like to congratulate you on your recent victory in the 2015 General Elections.

I am hoping that the rise in UKIP and Labour votes and how passionate the British citizens are about the National Health Service have caused you to have second thoughts about disbanding it.

I am only writing to voice my concerns about your plans to make the NHS private. Please don’t. Not only is this country proud to have such a great service but the employees within the NHS work hard to make it so. I know it doesn’t always have a good light and I’ve had my fair share of rubbish experiences via the NHS, but it’s a facility we desperately need in the UK.

I am 24 years old. I graduated university at 21 with honours and started working full time in my chosen field within a few weeks of getting my diploma. I had 4 jobs within private facilities and the NHS; working in mental healthcare. I pay national insurance and starting paying back my student loans. I was doing well.

Last year, I visited my GP with complaints of increasing pain every month, coinciding with my menstrual cycle. I was referred to a gynaecologist. He gave me medication and refused to send me for surgery, thinking it would be too invasive. Six months later, in August, I was so overcome with pain I had to drag myself to the bathroom, crawling into the bath to try and find some relief. I contacted NHS Direct (111) and they advised I sought urgent medical attention. My partner drove me to A&E. I was admitted to hospital and given several tests which all proved normal. I was sent home.

I was admitted to hospital twice more last year. Once in September for a week, where the staff in hospital helped me manage the pain before discharging me and referring me to a specialist. The second time was a week before my wedding. The staff, once again helped me manage the pain, which was excruciating- I can’t even describe it. And I only had 3 days on my feet before I got married, but I made it!

In January 2015, on my birthday, I had my first Laparoscopic surgery. My consultant found that my ovaries had fused to my pelvis and I had adhesions all around my reproductive organs and pelvis. These all had to be lasered away. I was diagnosed with severe Endometriosis.

Endometriosis is a chronic illness in which endometrial tissue (normally found in the uterus) is found in other parts of the body. It is commonly found in the reproductive area but can be found in the abdominal cavity, it has even been found in the lungs. Each month, hormonal changes in the body trigger the endometrial tissue to dissolve (a period), which means the tissue in other parts of the body bleeds as well. This can lead to severe pain. 1 in 10 women suffer with Endometriosis. There is no cure.

It is now 5 months since my surgery and I am in pain every single day. I have had to leave my full time job in healthcare as I was unable to do 12 hour shifts. I now work part-time as a receptionist. I can pretend to be alright most days and manage to fool most people. But unfortunately, I am not always able to do so, leading to time off work.

If you decide to make us pay for medical treatment or healthcare, I will not be able to afford to manage the awful pain I am in. I am already on several different types of pain relief and anti-depressants. I benefit so much from the NHS and they have helped me a lot. I would go out of my mind if I didn’t find some relief from my chronic pain.

So, I am pleading with you Mr Cameron, please please do not do away with the NHS. I know I am only one of thousand’s who wouldn’t survive without it.

Yours faithfully.

by ChronicWriter

Reaching the limit

I can do this?

Over the past few months a lot has happened that has impacted my life in a huge way. I am learning to live with the restrictions my body puts on me, learning what my limits are all over again. Training myself to work through pains and emotions that would have broken me 8 months ago. Slowly, I am realising that my mind must acclimate to these changes as well and acknowledge them if I want to be sane.

You see, my mind is all for hitting the gym for an hour, more than willing to stuff myself at meal times, happy to stay up all night watching Netflix. But the fact is, my body is no longer capable of doing any of those things. (have you read the Spoon Theory? This might help you understand my predicament)

8 months ago I was able to do 13 hour shifts and overtime in a high-stress role. Sadly, I just can’t do that anymore. I’ve missed it and been sad, resenting my body for fighting itself every month, tearing itself to bits, hating it. But my husband just said; “you can’t and it’s that way it is, being sad about it isn’t going to change it and you just have to adapt” – to be the best I can be.. now.

Getting back up..

When your body and/or emotions take a hammering, you’ll find ways of coping. Little tricks that help me to deal with the shitty situation I sometimes find myself in. This past week, I spent another few days in hospital, my little home away from home, with divine cuisine and luxury facilities. Between waking from my pain-killer induced dozes and trying to manage a pain storm, I read. If I ever find a few moments when I can concentrate enough to see the words, I can disappear, be absorbed into the pages and live through the characters in the story – just for a while. It’s my great escape. I have read a lot in since we said goodbye to 2014. Life can be difficult, but it’s the little things that can make it a little easier; a good book, a long bath, pudding… everybody loves pudding.

A xo

Books I have read recently & can recommend:

Please see my book reviews as some are included!

by ChronicWriter

G.D. Falksen’s The Ouroboros Cycle: A Cautionary Tale for Young Vampires.

I have finished The Ouroboros Cycle: A Cautionary Tale for Young Vampires by G. D Falksen. Due to my poor concentration and busy schedule, it took four weeks, but it has a fabulous crescendo. Leaves you begging for more!

image

Falksen has wisely kept the lead character from the first book; Babette, now known as Varanus; following the beginning of her journey into immortality.

The chapters alternate between two exciting stories. Luka’s in the east end of London and Varanus on family business on the Yorkshire Moors. Both are equally as thrilling and full of twists and turns. The characters’ personalities come to life with each page as we learn more about them. Ekaterine’s sense of humour is infectious and lightens the gothic elements in the story.

Luka’s life in the east end of London is grimy, action-packed and gang-filled and coincides with the time of ‘Jack the Ripper’. Falksen describes the location fabulously, right down to the accents. With the help of his pub landlord and prostitute friend Cat, Luka begins to bring peace to his territory, putting a stop to criminal activity and abuse.

Varanus travels to the desolate Yorkshire Moors with Ekaterine. She must settle her grandfather’s will with her distant cousins and fight for her inheritance but soon finds they hold a secret of their own. Her adventure at unraveling the mystery is gripping.

Enter: Friedrich. Babette’s son. A medical man himself, he has followed in the footsteps of his mother. Head strong and good hearted Friedrich brings a warmth to the story, and makes an end with a stunning twist you don’t see coming.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars- I enjoyed the first book more! But it was a good read. And the illustrations are awesome!

image

A xo

The Ouroboros Cycle, Book 1: A Monster’s Coming of Age Story is available to buy on Amazon

The Ouroboros Cycle, Book 2: A Cautionary Tale for Young Vampires is available to buy on Amazon

by ChronicWriter

Lessons

This last year I have learned a lot. About myself. About other people. About life.

It’s not been easy, but it’s been a valuable life lesson none the less. These are but a few, but good ones:

1. I’ve learned that no matter how much anxiety you bring to yourself, you can never alter someone’s thoughts about you. Not always. Not everyone is going to like me, I’m ok with that now, I get it. Not everyone likes the same flavour ice cream and that’s ok- like my ice cream metaphor? Ha. I have learned that you can’t please everybody, try and think about yourself too. You shouldn’t have to explain why you are who you are, you shouldn’t have to change yourself or your opinions.

2. There are times when you’re going to break, you can only push yourself so hard and stretch yourself thin for so long before you give in. Realising a weakness is not a failure, it’s an opportunity for you to learn how to pick yourself back up. I’ve been guilty of feeling bad when I can’t give 110% in a job. I feel guilty when I don’t manage get all my jobs done, or I forget someone’s birthday. Shit happens, give yourself a break. If you’re burning the candle at both ends, something is gonna get lost somewhere, just be thankful that you don’t lose yourself.

3. It’s ok to ask for help. You don’t have to be strong all of the time. It’s exhausting.

4. The door swings both ways. Do not take all the responsibility of a relationship on your shoulders; whether it’s intimate, family or friendships. There’s a lot to carry by yourself! It is both parties’ responsibility to maintain a relationship; visiting, phone calls, texts, etc happens both ways.

So the next time someone says: “I haven’t seen you in ages, I thought you’d forgotten about me?”

Your inner response should reply: “And you let me?”

5. Be aware that people change. The people you went to school with are now grown up and, like you, have their own lives. People grow apart as there lives take them on different paths, don’t worry. With enough effort (on both sides) you can still be in each others’ lives. Just know that babies, careers, relationships, houses, all the grown up stuff, take time and a lot of energy; be patient and thoughtful.

6. It’s ok for you to be mad at people if they’ve hurt you. If you’re hurting or upset because of someone’s negative actions against you, don’t feel guilty for feeling that way.

7. Do not sweat the little things. I know, right? That’s easier said than done. But it’s not good for you, and can cause even more problems. Are you worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet? I’m talking about the “What if this happens? What if I can’t do this?”- it’s like worrying about ice cream that hasn’t melted yet (have I used ice-cream somewhere else?). These little things, you’ll realise, seem so stupid and tiny when something big eventually rears its ugly head. You’ll want to kick yourself for it. And, I am the ultimate culprit for doing this, and that’s why I’ll look old and haggard before any of you.

8. Don’t apologise if it’s not your fault. I’m forever sorry- even if I have done nothing. Someone bumps into me, I’ll say sorry. Someone spills their drink on me, I’m sorry. I am trying to break out of this habit. It’s hard.

9. Know when you’re in a rut and get out. Know yourself and identify negative changes early. Physically and emotionally. I wasn’t paying attention and it took me longer to recover.

10. Realise what you’ve got around you. I didn’t know just how good I had it until I didn’t have anything else. Until my crappy health smacked me in the face and made me pay attention. Don’t wait for a smack in the face.

As I said, just a few of the lessons I’ve learned this year. I want to thank all those who taught them to me one way or another.

A xo

by ChronicWriter

I said I don’t write poetry…I lied

My mind ripples.

Like a mirror pool.

It’s the best way to explain it.

One small thing makes a lasting impact on my thoughts that expand and encompass everything until it is the only thing remaining.

Twisting it, corrupting it. Until I hardly recognise it as my thought at all.

Only it’s not just one ripple.

There are hundreds, starting at the same time or different times, by different things that will inevitably connect in time.

When they do, my mirror will shatter.

Shards of glass will lay discarded, unwanted in a pile. Like the thought never mattered at all.

And where’s the sense in that?

But my mind continues to ripple.

A xo

by ChronicWriter

An Apology.

Being the partner of someone who suffers with Endometriosis is hard. It’s hard to see the person you love go through so much, seeing them in pain constantly and feeling helpless. It’s difficult to watch her lose a part of herself each month as pain wracks her body or hormones warp her spirit, turning her into someone she’s not.

I can only guess how hard it is, I can’t imagine what my husband has thought or felt during this last year; pre-diagnosis and post. I’m just thankful he’s been with me.

Over the past several months, I have not been myself. I have not been the woman he fell in love with. You might say ‘it can’t be helped, you’ve been through a lot’ which is true in a lot of ways. But why should he have to suffer someone he no longer knows?

Pain turns people into a shadow of the person they were without it. Pain takes hold and destroys the spirit like a cancer destroys the body. A person can only take so much before they give up to despair. Luckily my husband has stood by me through it all.

I have had the Depo Provera injection. This will be the third week after my first dose. My doctor told me it would help with the pain. It has a little. But it’s something else that’s worrying me. The Depo Provera injection says ‘Mood Changes’ on the side effects list. Understatement. They say hormones are a big part of distinguishing who you are. Hormones have a strong relationship with emotions. And being someone who is madly driven by emotion- this has had a huge effect. I’m not making excuses, I’m just trying to understand.

My thoughts are darker, I’m moodier and I have mood swings so bad I feel like I might have whiplash. I have just started a new job which is causing me to concentrate and has taken its toll on my brain which has been on sick leave since December. I’m tired, my husband is tired. I don’t find his jokes as much fun as I used to. The little patience I did have has all but expired. This has started to affect my marriage. I’m pretty sure my husband, family and friends have noticed.

I’m trying my best to be me, it’s hard. But I’m just asking for time and patience and a little understanding. Like people say ‘anything worth having is never easy.’ I thank you for your patience.

But in the meantime, I apologise wholeheartedly for being a bitch.

Sorry.

A xo

by ChronicWriter

G D Falksen’s The Ouroboros Cycle: A Monster’s Coming of Age Story

G D Falksen is a great writer. The story has depth and this book is a real page-turner. Falksen, the ‘steampunk’ writer has produced a masterpiece. I loved it from beginning to end!
Babette is the granddaughter of William, a well-known mogul in French society, who holds dark secrets. Unlike other young women of her time, she is enthralled by literature and knowledge not gowns and frills. Babette is sought after by Alfonse, a beastly colonel after her entree into society. However, she falls for Korbinian, a dashing Baron from Germany. And this is where the trouble starts.
More than anything else, this story is one of love but has excited twists and turns that will keep the reader guessing. Falksen introduces interesting character dynamics, set in a time when society kept very much to the expected. The dynamic between Babette’s father James and her Grandfather is complicated; William is disappointed with the James has become but ignores this through love and Alfonse seeks matrimony to Babette, although he cares nothing for her but adheres to his father’s insistence on the union.
There is an underlying hint of feminism in Babette’s role. She demands equality in a male-led profession, breaking societal rules by attending university and by marrying a man for love rather than advantage.
I give this book 4 stars out of 5. It is so different, refreshing and makes the reader quickly chose sides when the trouble starts.
What I also loved about this book, that every chapter has a beautiful illustration. Each one very well drawn in a dark, steampunk-ish style that complimented the story fantastically.
A lovely story, that will keep you hanging onto every word, wanting more when it ends. But don’t worry! The sequel is also available- The Ouroboros Cycle, Book 2: A Cautionary Tale for Young Vampires.
A xo
The Ouroboros Cycle, Book 1: A Monster’s Coming of Age Story is available to buy on Amazon
The Ouroboros Cycle, Book 2: A Cautionary Tale for Young Vampires is available to buy on Amazon
by ChronicWriter

We are Here.

Since being diagnosed with Endometriosis I have been trying to get my head around the impact the illness has on my body, on my life and the people in my life.

During a particularly successful brainstorming session between my husband and I, it became apparent that because of the lack of knowledge and awareness surrounding Endometriosis, diagnosis proves difficult to obtain. Women struggle with chronic pain for years and years with no idea of the cause, insufficient pain management treatments and a deep sense of despair.

I am going to try and help. I have decided to use my experience and diagnosis of Endometriosis for something positive. I’m starting out small with the hope that it grows into something magnificent. And hopefully, this will prove to be quite therapeutic for me too!

INTRODUCING… 

Bassetlaw Endometriosis Awareness & Support Team

Bassetlaw Endometriosis Awareness & Support Team (B.E.A.S.T) has been set up to offer women and their families a place to come together for support, it’s a virtual shoulder to cry on, listening ear and an online hug. The internet makes it possible for us all to reach out in a way that hasn’t been possible before. One of the biggest difficulties with Endometriosis is that it is incredibly lonely sometimes, especially before diagnosis.

People in the Bassetlaw area can seek information, support and can find out about events that I plan to host as we raise awareness (Events like coffee mornings, charity walks etc).

I have put together brochures explaining the illness from the point of view of someone who actually suffers with it. We have our own logo. We even have a twitter page.

So if you know anyone that has Endometriosis, or even shows some of the symptoms – please refer them to this Team.
I have said team, as every woman/supporter involved is a member and has something to offer someone else; understanding, experience, support. Every woman’s experience of Endometriosis is different and we can all learn from that.

Email us: bassetlaw-endo@outlook.com
Please visit our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/BEAST.Bassetlaw
Follow us on Twitter: @BassetlawEndo 

A xo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI

by ChronicWriter

Endo-what?

“You don’t look sick!”

“It can’t be that bad surely,”

“It’s just woman problems.”

“Have you tried Paracetamol?”

“I know what you mean..”

Well in my world, if you’re not me, you can’t possibly know what I mean at all. For 6 months I have suffered with an agonising pain that appeared like clockwork every month. Tell me, do you know how hard it is to try to be optimistic when you know to expect the worst? As I said, probably not.

Opening your eyes in a morning with a pain so severe you can’t even sit up. You can’t even walk, having to crawl into the bathroom to throw up, having to lie there on the cold tiled floor whilst the bath fills slowly with scolding hot water. Having your abdomen covered, front and back, with heat-pads just to try and find some relief.
And worse, having to contact your employer and tell them you can’t go into work today as you’ve got really bad pains, “period pain”, trying to make them understand just how bad it is. Willing them to understand, thanking god when they do because you know there’s no way you could possibly make it into work without fainting and vomiting. Calling your boyfriend before he finishes work to make an emergency stop at the all night chemist for Tampax because you’ve almost used a full box in a day or so. Losing clots of blood the size of 50p coins, feeling so exhausted you think you might never move again. Asking your partner to carry you, put you to bed, rub your back, listen to you cry and scream in pain; then watching the hopeless, helpless look on his face as he tries to look after you the very best he can.

It’s funny really, I can’t actually explain to you what the pain feels like. When I try and think back to how it’s been the month before, it’s like I’ve blocked it out. All I can say is, when I think about having to go through that pain again this month, I feel a gut-wrenching fear that brings me to the edge of tears. I cannot do it again. And yet, it comes and I do and a month later I find myself back in the same situation.

Endometriosis. For those of you who aren’t aware of what it is (and there are a few, I was one!) It’s an illness where endometrial tissue is found outside of the womb. It causes excruciating pain, infertility, chronic fatigue, and in some cases; financial problems and relationship breakdown.
There is no cure. It’s average diagnosis time is 7 years; from first appearance of symptoms to diagnosis. That is not good. Understatement. Women are struggling all over the world, visiting their GP, being rushed to hospital, being admitted to hospital, trying to get help. To be in pain is the worst feeling in the world, worsened by the fact that you feel alone and unable to get help.

I have had 3 hospital admissions since August 2014 and several out of hours doctors appointments. I have struggled since February 2014 when my gynaecologist decided it was unlikely I had endometriosis and decided not to send me for the diagnostic laparoscopy. This man I met again on my 3rd hospital admission, he waltzed on to the ward and I felt an impending sense of despair. He had no idea who I was, or that he’d seen me before, he then told me he was sending for (another) scan and that the pain could be due to a water infection or I could be constipated or appendicitis – all that I’d heard before. The frustration I felt at the moment was strong enough that it could have lifted me off of the bed. He informed me after checking the scan that he would just help manage the pain as I was booked in for surgery in January 2015.

A week after I was discharged, 20th December, I married the love of my life. I only just made it down the aisle.

I mentally prepared myself for surgery, thinking positive despite several doctors telling me not to pin my hopes on the operation as they might not be able to find a cause of the pain. That in itself is a frightening thing. If they can’t find anything, I’ll just be left to deal with this every month by myself. Surely I wouldn’t have all this pain for no reason? But doctors assured me this could be possible; “some women just suffer more harshly than others with period pains.”

So I went under. I can’t tell you how long I was in surgery for, it felt like I’d only blinked. But the moment I opened my eyes, I was in agony. The nurse pumped me full of Morphine and Tramadol as I tried to listen to my consultant explain he had found severe endometriosis. That my ovaries had been fused to my pelvis. That if I wanted children, to have them sooner rather than later as my fertility would only decrease as I get older (but hey! there’s always IVF), and that an hysterectomy would be the final decision but was hopefully years and years away.
I can tell you, the relief that he’d found something, found an answer when I’d had none for months, I’ll admit I cried. And I have cried a lot since my surgery over 2 weeks ago. I’m still sore and I’m still learning what I can do to help myself and what options are.
But the first thing I realised, it’s not all hopeless. There are success stories. There are alot of women I have come to know that are surviving with endometriosis; brave, strong women. Most have been surviving a lot longer than I have, years they have endured such agony. All smiling on the outside, while suffering awful pain on the inside. I salute you ladies! You inspire me to look to the future with a positivity I didn’t have before Christmas, pre-op.

I debated whether or not to write this entry. Thinking it might be too much, it might not apply to everyone, maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, but this is how endometriosis has affected me and my life. I hope whoever reads this has had a better time, or that this can help you understand and appreciate what I’ve been through.

My name is Aimée, I’m 24, married and I’m surviving with chronic endometriosis. There I said it.

xo

Deep breath! aaaand let’s smile. These have made me smile:

George Michael – Faith —    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29GWMT0GB6s
Olly Murs Ft Demi Lovato – Up —      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Cs3Pvmmv0E
Jimmy Fallon’s lip sync battle with Will Ferrell & Kevin Hart —
Bruno Mars & Mark Ronson – Uptown Funk —   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPf0YbXqDm0
Ed Sheeran – Thinking out Loud —     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA